The Watches

The other day my son called and asked if I had a digital watch he could use. He is off at college and started running again. And like most people his age he doesn't use a watch on a regular basis, he uses his cell phone. Which can be a bit difficult on a run. I told him that I "think I may have one he could borrow." So I went to my bedroom and looked and found not one, not two, not three but four digital watches. And a dress watch. And an analog watch. I think I have my son covered. So who needs six watches? Who even needs two watches? Well, I do. Most of the time when I ref soccer I go out with two watches. One is set to count down and the other is set to count up. And there have been several times when a watch has died on me in the middle of a match. Usually when I only have one watch... And there is also when I go for a speed workout. I have one watch that records 27 laps and another that records 30. So between the two I can do 20 or so quarters with rest intervals. Someone might look at that and ask the question: "Why not get one watch that records more laps?" What! Then I would have five digital watches...

Soccer Integrity

The other day I was refereeing a couple of high level youth soccer matches. The league requires that referees be paid in cash before the match. This is kind of neat as opposed to waiting for a check. I was working with another adult and a younger referee after being paid for the second match. I made the comment that I like being paid on site like this and the other adult said that he didn't, he felt: "it looks bad." I said that I understand that, I meant getting the cash on site is nice. He agreed with that because he: "doesn't want Uncle Sam knowing about the cash." I responded that I report everything since it is easier that way. I have found that this attitude is prevalent among the people charged with have integrity on the soccer pitch. If they get cash they don't have to report it. This bothers me. Why not just pay what you owe? Not any more and not any less. it's just a lot easier that way...

Doomed

It was supposed to be a normal early season tournament game.

As normal as an Under 19 Boys game usually is with all the testosterone flowing and the competitiveness.

The game was played on a really crummy field, one of the worst in the area. The goal areas were swamps as was the center of the field. The field slopes from northwest to southeast in an awkward way and there was the usual 20 mph wind blowing steadily from the South down hill. And the two teams were from the eastern side of Missouri and had played each other several times before over the years.

I should have known this was going to be a rough one when the captains came out for the coin toss. The two white team captains were jerks. They didn't really say anything specific, but their body attitude was one of "we don't respect you and we won't." I haven't really had that before.

By the way, one team wore white and the other wore red.

Game got underway and it was obvious from the start that it was going to be a rough one to keep under control. Both teams were physical and aggressive. Red scored on white about midway through the first half.

A red player fell to the ground in the box and kicked the ball to another player who scored. There was no problem with the play. No white players were around him. It is perfectly legal to play the ball on the ground as long as there is no danger to another player.

So according to the white team, I had somehow scored on them. And downhill it went.

Before the game was over I had cautioned the head coach of the white team, dismissed the assistant coach for calling me something that I can't repeat here, cautioned both white captains for dissent, cautioned two other white players for reckless play and cautioned two of the red players for reckless play.

First coach I have tossed in over five years.

According to the white team, I had somehow scored three goals against them and they had lost 3 to 2 because of me.

Normally after a game, good or bad, I reflect on how I did and what I can change to improve. I really like the verse in Romans 12:3 "For by the grace given me I say to everyone of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." I try to apply sober judgment to my refereeing.

I run across a lot of referees that seem to think they are perfect. I don't like working with those guys. I realize that I make mistakes in every game. Could be as simple as missing the direction on a throw in. My next perfect game will be my first one. And I have been looking for a perfect game for over 1072 games.

As I reflected on this game, I came to the realization that about the only thing I could have done differently was to card both white captains at the coin toss for dissent.

This game was doomed from the start...

Numbers

It is common at the end of a year to reflect back on what has happened over the course of the year. I came up with a bunch of numbers.

One is 1000. I reffed my 1000th career soccer match last year. I also reffed 127 matches. Lot of time spent on the pitch.

I also ran 544.14 miles last year. It took 80 hours 52 minutes and 16 seconds of running time. This is in addition to the time spent in soccer matches.

Then there is 3.375. We refinanced the house and got that interest rate late in the year. That number truly boggles my mind.

And there is 87, the number of Insanity workouts that I did early in the year.

Four came up as the number of times I donated blood. One was the time rejected for being too healthy.

Oh, and three wrestling meets with a total of 120 matches reffed.

47 Bible studies were led on Tuesday mornings at Denny's for CBMC. Missed five for various reasons.

My Dad turned 80 this year, a true milestone. Fun to celebrate at Mahoney State Park in Nebraska.

Speaking of Nebraska, the number one comes to mind, since both kids survived a one car rollover on the way to Mahoney on Father's Day. The One True God was certainly in evidence that day.

These are the numbers that came easily to mind (or to hand from the computer). Truly mind boggling.

Looking forward to 2011...

One Thousand

In March of 2000, I became a certified soccer referee. I started out doing little kids games and then older kids and adults and high school games.

Recently, I refereed my 1,000th soccer match. Some have been as referee (center) and some have been as assistant referee (linesman).

I have kept track of my games from the start to make sure that I get paid correctly and also to make sure that I pay my taxes properly.

The game itself wasn't all that special. A mid division, girls premier, under 15 match. I was the referee. Thirty five minute halves. No cards, no real problems, score of 6-1. There were a couple of areas that I could improve on.

This has caused me to reflect a bit.

You see, hitting 1,000 games made me realize how big a mile stone that is. A hundred games came and went without notice. Same with 500.

But a thousand, why that is four digit territory! It means about fifteen hundred hours on the pitch. It means a lot of weekends and evenings in the sun, rain, wind, snow, clouds and temps from 15 degrees to over 100. It means over three thousand miles running and countless bottles of water.

It meant reffing with my daughter and son. A true highlight even if neither still refs.

It is constant learning and trying to improve. I now referee totally differently than I did ten years ago. While some coaches, players and parents might think otherwise, I think that I do a pretty good job.

There are a lot of people who don't referee this long. I know of some guys who have passed on and many kids who didn't like the constant criticism. I think I have a thicker skin now. I realize just how ignorant most coaches and especially parents are of the game. Most kids playing the game never hit a thousand games played.

So what does it all mean? In the long run, not much.

But I am proud of it...

Moldy Prayer

Looked at a couple of houses recently. Older houses that have some issues. Or a lot of issues.

A couple have had mold. Some people just try and paint over the mold. After a few months (weeks?) the mold starts to show through. If you really want to get rid of the mold you have to rip out the wallboard and solve the problem at the source. If you do it right you (or the person you sell the house to) won't have to deal with it again.

Kind of like prayer. All too often my prayer is just a surface prayer. Just a list of please do this and please do that and please get it done before breakfast.

Don't get me wrong. There are times when a quick prayer is all that I can pull off. Like when I am reffing a soccer match.

But if I really want to be an effective prayer, I have to get in and do the heavy lifting, the work. I have to grapple with the issue at hand and what God is telling me to do. I have to be willing to put my sweat and blood and tears into prayer.

And that means tearing off my walls before God. And letting Him in to clean out the moldy corners of my life that I don't really want to deal with.

And it means that I can't just gloss over the issues at hand. I have to put time in and work through them.

Prayer is work. And too often I approach it as play...

Mercy Rule

Its playoff time! Win or go home in Kansas high school soccer.

Last night I reffed my last high school game of the season. Wasn't much of a game. An 0-13 team against a 16-0 team that is number one in the state and ranked three in the nation. A result of having a one seed face a twelve seed in the playoffs.

It wasn't expected to be much of a game. But for the first twenty minutes I was surprised as the 16-0 team seemed to have difficulty finding traction on the sloppy surface and committed weird fouls and unusual offsides and inexplicably knocked the ball out of play on several occasions.

But ultimately, they got their game going and ran up a 10-0 score right before the end of the half.

And in high school soccer, the meant that the mercy rule was invoked and the game was over.

The mercy rule is this: Any time you are up ten or more goals on an opponent and you have played at least a half of the game the game is over.

It is a good thing. Prevents the score from being run up too high and players injuring other players out of frustration and anger. I know some people will say that it is a sign of the times that we don't play it out to the end.

I disagree.

But that is a rabbit trail to follow at another time.

But anyway, it got me thinking: Do I need a mercy rule in my life?

Are there times when I am so consumed with winning, with being right, with getting the last word in, that I forget about the other person and what it does to them?

Are there times when I plow ahead regardless of the situation bound and determined to get to the "finish" without regard to the cost to those around me?

Are there times when I forget mercy and compassion and let my competitive nature take over?

And unfortunately, for me the answer to those questions is all too often: Yes.

And that is not good.

Funny thing. After the game was over you would be hard pressed to tell which team won and which team lost and get the answer right.

The losing team chased down their coach and sprayed him with water and gathered at midfield as a team and cheered and celebrated. Maybe they were just glad that their season is done and they don't have to practice anymore. Don't know the reason why but their joy was there for all to see.

The winning team gathered up its gear and left after meeting with the coach. Not a lot of joy expressed. After all they were supposed to win this way.

And me? I was glad the game was over and I could go and get warm.

And as I wrote this I had the thoughts creep in that I had written about this situation before.

Guess I better learn the lessons this time...

Thanks

Today a refereed a soccer match.

It was a Under 15 girls match of the first division. The teams were very evenly matched.

The game was very even until late in the game and fairly physical. I thought I did a pretty good job of managing the game and letting the players on the field decide the outcome.

There were the typical comments from parents and coaches about what a horrible referee I was. I don't hear that every game but I did hear a it a couple of times. What is especially grating is when I am working hard to get into position and see something five yards away and a coach (or parent) forty yards away complains about the call.

Anyway, after the game, had the usual player and coach hand shakes and the coaches said "Thanks."

I debriefed with my assistant referees and we were pretty happy with how we worked the game.

And I got ready to run lines on the next game.

And then something unusual happened. A parent came up to me. That is usually a bad sign. It doesn't happen often. They usually want to complain or say that I took the game away from the players.

This guy came up and shook my hand and said: "thanks, you called a great game and really kept things under control."

I was kind of struck dumb at that one. This gentleman recognized what a difficult task it is and how hard I was working. And he appreciated what I (and the rest of the crew) had done.

I don't know what team he was rooting for. And it wouldn't change anything if I did.

Reminds me that I need to be more appreciative of the work that others do.

And tell them that I appreciate the work that they do a lot more often...

The 900

Fall is a pretty busy time for me.

Not only is it a return of school and all the headaches that it entails, but it is the start of soccer.

I currently referee high school, youth club soccer and adult league games. There are a lot of referees who work a lot more games than I do. I don't work every night or day of the week.

Part of that is that I am not as young as I used to be. A mans got to know his limitations.

Last week I worked a game between two Christian high schools. I've done both schools several times over the past few years and a lot of the kids were familiar. It was really evenly matched with a back and forth game.

It ended up tied 3-3 at the end of regulation so we went to overtime. At the end of overtime it was still tied so we went to: "shots from the mark" or penalty kicks. The home team ended up winning 4-3.

Really an exciting game. The guys were well behaved (for the most part). The spectators were pretty calm (for the most part) and the coaches didn't yell too much (for the most part). The weather was a rare beautiful fall day. Not too hot and not too cold.

But for me it was also memorable since it was my 900th game refereed. I have kept track of my games ever since I started (mainly to make sure that I got paid).

I know there are plenty of guys who have done more, but that is OK. It is still a milestone that I feel pretty good about.

On to a thousand...

Three Gallons

So this morning I headed off to the local soccer field to ref a couple of games.

Didn't go too bad. Worked fairly hard and no one got hurt.

And now for something completely different...

Now imagine three gallons of milk. Weighs about twenty one pounds. pretty heavy and bulky.

After I finished my games I headed up to the blood center. I had an appointment to donate blood. Took a little while since there were a lot of people there.

Turns out this was my 24th donation. Or three gallons. I got my pin. don't know when I will wear it since i don't wear too many suits.
There are plenty of people around that have donated much, much more than that.

But it is kind of mind boggling to think of having donated three gallons of blood. And that could have saved up to 72 peoples lives. It is really an honor to be able to donate.

Just another eight donations and a year and twelve weeks and it will be four gallons...

Tired

Been a long weekend. And I am tired.

Started on Thursday night when I reffed a couple of games on artificial turf in 80+ degree heat. Then work on Friday following with two games including a double overtime game that ended late in 80+ degree heat.

Then Saturday was two games at Heritage Soccer park in high humidity on the sloping field followed by mowing the lawn. I was wiped out.

But we had to practice for the benefit at Hope. So we spent some time doing that followed by loading the car. And then I couldn't sleep. Up until 2AM watching junk on TV.

Then I did sound at church and then off to Hope for the benefit.

So I am tired. But it is a satisfied tired.

The benefit was great. Lots of money was raised. Loralie sang very well. We saw old friends. Met some new ones. We heard stories of everyday miracles in the lives of friends of ours. I didn't stumble too much in what I was supposed to stay.

Ran a bit on adrenaline.

I realized that our participation was an offering.

And that it is enough...

Busy

Since Monday morning, I have reffed four high school soccer matches, prepared for a bible study, led a bible study, wrote an e-mail newsletter, done the laundry, mowed the lawn, trimmed the lawn, answered a bunch of music business e-mails, and done my day job - three times.

I haven't even had time to play any Half Life 2 on the XBox!

But I take comfort in that being this busy is just for a time, a season.

I know that the five hours of soccer a night will be over in mid to late May. And while I enjoy the reffing and interaction with the kids during the season (as well as the small amount of money that I get), I am sure glad when the season is over.

And I do try to keep some balance in my life by not reffing on Wednesday nights so that I can get caught up on all the stuff I can't do the rest of the week.

Unfortunately, Loralie sometimes feels like a soccer widow.

Especially when I have to leave before she gets up and get home about the time she is going to bed.

And that is never good...

Mercy

Friday night I refereed at two high school girls soccer matches.

Both were Catholic high schools (not that it has anything to do with this).

One team is experienced, the other is playing its first season. In fact, this was their first game ever.

The Junior Varsity game ended at half 10-0. The Varsity game ended at half 10-0. The more experienced team won both games. This was due to the Mercy Rule: You have to play at least a half and the winning team has to be up by 10 (or more) goals.

In youth soccer there is no mercy rule. You take the licking. Not a lot of fun sometimes for anyone. I've seen teams run up the score on an over matched opponent and then have the coach justify it by saying it was done to them in a previous season by some other team.

It was obvious from the first few minutes of the JV game to everyone involved what the outcome was going to be of both games.

But as the Referee of the JV game I had to make sure that I worked harder than anyone else on the field to stay involved in the game and to call the game in a fair manner. Regardless of the outcome, it is important to someone on the field.

And I owe it to them to give it my best.

But I have to admit: it was nice to be done early...

Integrity

Went to lunch today. Usually I go home for lunch since it is only six tenths of a mile from work: close enough to walk home and back if I want. But I digress (as usual).

Anyway, today Loralie and I went up to Vineyard Christian Fellowship for a lunch sponsored by the Integrity Resource Center. Integrity Resource Center was founded and is run by my friend Rick Boxx and this was a recruitment event for the Kansas City Faith Incorporated event on 17 April.

Rick has the "vision of restoring integrity and faith at work."

Integrity is often missing from the business world. We only have to look as far as today's headlines with Bernie Madoff going to jail for perpetrating an estimate $50 billion dollar fraud to see that this character trait is sorely absent.

Rod Handley, President of Character That Counts was the main speaker today. Rod was formerly the CFO/COO of Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA). A couple of points really resonated with me.

Rod said that the root word of integrity is the same as that of integer (whole number, I had to look it up, too). The quote is that: "God is interested in integers and Satan is interested in fractions." What truth is wrapped up in that statement! Satan comes only to divide and separate. But God is interested in the whole person.

Rod also pointed out several results of integrity. A couple that stuck out to me were: A clear conscience and leaving a legacy.

These are extremely important results. Having a clear conscience before God is rare. Too often we retreat into self recrimination or self justification and we never admit to God our sins, our shortcomings. And we all fall short of the glory of God!

And leaving a legacy is critical for a man today. I am not talking about the legacy of money (although that would be nice), I am talking about the legacy of my life written in the lives of my children and others. But first my children. And by living my life in integrity to the greatest degree that I can with the help of God, I will leave that legacy.

I referee soccer. Frequently, prior to a game, I've had a parent or coach jokingly (I assume) ask me how much it would cost for their team to win the game. My response is always the same: "You don't have that much money." A couple of times, I've had a guy get his back up and say: "How do you know how much money I have?" And my response is always that my integrity is not for sale at any price.

That is an easy one. As Rod pointed out out, we need to exhibit integrity in all the little things too. For if I sell my integrity for a dollar, I might as well sell it for more.

May you walk in integrity in all that you do.

MLS Draft

Bit of news today.

The Wizards (Kansas Cities' pro soccer team) drafted a local player in the first round: Matt Besler.

Matt played at Notre Dame and was all academic everything. He attended elementary school with Ellen and I played in the "old man's soccer league" with Matt's dad, Greg.

But Matt is the first player that I have reffed that will play in the MLS.

I reffed the team that he was playing on several times over the first four years I reffed.

Kind of neat.