Everyone Communicates Few Connect by John Maxwell

This is a manual on connecting with others. There is a lot of value of in this book and I recommend it.

In today’s media driven environment, we are often bombarded with words, images, programs and other attempts to sway us to a certain point of view. Most of this onslaught goes unnoticed and we fail to pay any attention. John Maxwell points out that “Connecting with others is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.” Most communication directed our way doesn't connect.

John lays out Five Principles and then Five Practices on connecting with others spending a chapter on each. At the end of each chapter is a summation that provides practical points for connecting one-on-one, connecting in a group and connecting with an audience. I found these summations especially helpful and concise.

The only issue I have is that it appears that the bulk of the information in the chapters themselves seems to focus on connecting with an audience. But this is a minor complaint.

As far as I can tell this is the first book that John has put out on his blog for a period of time for comment prior to publication. He used more than seventy quotes, anecdotes and stories and made over a hundred corrections and improvements based on net feedback. It was a lot of fun to be reading along and find a quote from a guy I knew in high school.

I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Be Careful Who You Help?

Big basketball game on Wednesday last week. Kansas State played at Kansas. Kansas State was ranked number five and Kansas was ranked number two.

Place was pretty nuts. Students camped out for a week to get tickets (Classes? We don’t need no stinking classes (yes, I know that there is a group system that means that only one person has to be in a line at a time)). The local ticket outlet was totally sold out. The highest price I heard of for a ticket was $1,200.

Kansas won. Great game.

Turns out that last December on a flight from Los Angeles to Kansas City, one of the assistant coaches for Kansas (Kurtis Townsend) had met a woman who graduated from KU a few years ago. She talked about wanting to take her brother to a game on his birthday and Coach Townsend arranged for a couple of tickets to be left for her.

Pretty common for coaches to leave tickets for alumni and fans.

After the game, the woman sent out a Twitter to her “small” group of followers (only about 2,000) talking about a what a great game it was and thanking Coach Townsend for the tickets.

Problem: The woman is a porn star.

And word started to get around about the whole thing.

So then Coach Townsend had to talk with the press and the University about the whole thing. And he had to explain to his wife about how he knew an adult film actress.

The coach says that he didn’t know what she did for a living and there is no reason to doubt him.

The University doesn’t think that Coach Townsend did anything wrong. Head Coach Bill Self doesn’t think that Coach Townsend did anything wrong. And not that it matters, but I don’t think he did anything wrong either.

I think he was just trying to do something nice for a fan of the team.

And it came around to bite him. Happens.

Sometimes we’ll try to help someone and it won’t work out the way we expect. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t quit helping them. Just means that it didn’t work out the way we expected it to work out…

Free at Last

The family just switched out cell phone plans. We have had the same carrier for about ten years. But we came to the conclusion that we could save about $30 a month by moving to a different carrier.

We looked at a lot of different plans and carriers. The big problem is that most of them require a two year commitment. We didn’t want that. We wanted the freedom to be able to switch carriers at will if they start to raise rates.

The catch is that we have to buy our own phones. And phones cost more than they are advertised for. Because you pay for the phone over the life of the contract. And you keep paying for those phones.

But we were able to get our old carrier to unlock our phones since they were old. My wife spent several hours wading through phone tree hell to get the unlock codes (and one of the codes she got from one rep was totally wrong).

But with the help of a patient clerk at the new carrier and a last minute call to the old carrier’s customer service, we got all of our phones successfully unlocked and switched over.

So we now have a new cell phone provider with the same cell phone numbers as before.

And we have no contract and no obligation.

Reminds me of sin. It binds me to death. When I accept Christ as my savior I am set free from death.

And through his death on the cross I am free at last…

Rejected

I recently went in to donate blood.

I went in early on a Saturday right when they opened. This was so that I would be able to donate early and then make it to a gun show before the crowds hit.

Things went pretty normal. Signed in. Hung the number outside the screening room, Closed the door. Read the instructions. Answered the questions. Opened the door. Reviewed the questions with the reviewer: Yes, I served in the military (not in Europe). Yes, I have been to Africa (Somalia, 1982), Yes, I have been out of the country in the last three years (Mexico, March 2007).

Then I got to the physical check. Arms OK, (no needle tracks). Temperature 97.8 (must be my cold, cold heart). And then the new automated blood pressure/heart rate machine with instructions not to move or talk during the test. Blood pressure a nice 118/70. Pulse 44.

Minimum to donate is 50. Except if you are a runner. Then it is 46.

The screener went out the door to talk with the supervisor.

So two more tests with instructions to “stress out”. Blood pressure rose each time. Pulse the second time: 44. Pulse the third time: 43.

Rejected.

I understand the reason. They are worried about slow donations and people fainting. But I have never had any problems with that.

And I don’t blame the screeners and people at the local office who were only following the ironclad criteria laid down by the Main Center of the Community Blood Services. Because I know from previous conversations that they get hammered by the people in quality control if they mess up in any way on the paperwork.

And I can go back and try to donate the next day, although it will be at least a week.

So now I have a letter to write to the Main Center. And I have to point out that if comes down to a choice between my health and donating blood, it will be my health. For it is my health that allows me to donate blood in the first place (I don't want to give the impression that I am bragging for I realize that I have been blessed by good genes).

This is not really a big deal. I have been more amused by this than anything else. The fact that I am “too healthy” to donate is a weird idea.

But it has made me think: How many times have I rejected someone because of my ironclad criteria without regard for the circumstances of the individual?

The Map: The Way of All Great Men by David Murrow

Two things: First, The Map is a book for men and for women who want to understand men. The author freely acknowledges that he has not figured out the implications for women. Second, it is a work of both fiction and nonfiction.

That said, I am really torn about this book. The first half of the book and the epilogue are a story about a map to spiritual maturity found in an ancient Greek monastery. I did not like this part of the book at all. It was all too contrived, too pat and too fantastic. I would have enjoyed the story more if it read like a story instead of reading like a first person memoir.

Once I got in to the second nonfiction part, I enjoyed the book more. The author’s basic premise is that all great men follow three separate journeys of submission, strength and sacrifice. Although this is written from a Christian and Biblical perspective, he does not confine it to the religious arena entirely.

The main issue I have is that the author tends to view the three journeys as separate when they should build on each other. We should operate in strength under submission and sacrifice from strength under submission. While the author briefly acknowledges that they are not entirely separate, the main thrust of the book is that they are.

All that being said there is some value here in the tools, pitfalls and suggestions the author lays out. I recommend that you skip the first 102 pages and just read the last 124 pages while ignoring most of the epilogue.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”